Marriage? Ugh…No Thanks!

Many single people that we have conversations with explain marriage as something negative. They say things like “I’m too young to be tied down right now”, or “I still want to have fun while I can”. I can only imagine that they believe that marriage is only for old people and somehow drains the fun out of life. Is marriage something that we do when we’re done having fun or when we’re older?

The majority of people my age have been raised to believe that marriage is a part of life. Because of some of our religious backgrounds, we feel that marriage somehow frees us and allows us to finally live our own lives. Others, who aren’t afraid of certain consequences that come with premarital sex and other no-nos presented in the bible, would rather not be married, at least for a long time. Whatever your negative, preconceived notion is about being joined with someone in holy matrimony, I would like to offer a more positive perspective. You’re not being tied down, you’re being partnered up! 

The ideal situation is that you are living a wonderful and fulfilled life, and someone comes along that you would like to include in your life. The two of you agree that you are even happier with each other, and you decide to build a life together. All of the fun that you were having individually is now being shared with the person you love. Sound complicated? I didn’t think so. The problem is, most people link up and try to change each other. They get married while things are moving along nicely, and then they start fighting over who’s going to give in and transform into the other person. We have learned to be intolerant of other individuals. Instead of accepting people for who they are, we try to force them to become some type of version of ourselves.

Don’t get me wrong; marriage can be difficult, because you’re trying to mesh two separate upbringings, personalities, and ways of communication. That will take some time to blend, but it should be blended and not one overtaken by the other. Life is not meant to be stressful and difficult. We make it that way.

People get married for a lot of reasons other than the right ones. These marriages sometimes fail or make the couples miserable. They give those who are happily married a hard time explaining how wonderful marriage actually is. Some mess it up for the rest. This is true of a lot of groups of people. I know that we’ve only been married for almost 4 years now, but we know several married couples, including our parents, that are still happy and very much in love. There are couples ministries and married couples’ groups all over that cater to the happiness and healthiness of marriages.

I’m not suggesting that marriage is for every person on the planet. If it’s not your thing, it just isn’t. But for those who love love and want to live a life that includes marriage, I don’t want you to be discouraged. Most people who speak negatively about marriage are singles and people who have had negative experiences. When two people enter into a marriage determined to make it work and to be happy, they end up living a beautiful life together.

 

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