What to Do When Your Spouse Is Dictating Your Life
A lot of times when we decide to take that stroll down the aisle and say “I do”, it’s because we feel that we’ve met someone that we can grow with and love for the rest of our lives. But after the big party is over, and all of your friends and family go back to their lives, you’re left to figure things out on your own. As intelligent as some may be, I don’t think marriage is something that can be figured out. It’s a journey, and we might just run into some issues, regardless of how careful we are in trying to avoid them.
One of the main complaints that people have is that their spouse is a dictator. They feel that they can’t make their own decisions. Here is our point of view from both angles.
When Your Wife Is A Dictator
If you feel that your wife is constantly “nagging” or making decisions for you and the household without your input, it’s safe to say that she either is stuck on her way of doing things, or something occurred between you two in the past that caused her to feel that her security or stability was threatened, and she doesn’t trust you to handle certain things anymore. Women say that they need/want help a lot of the time, but if they are not asking for help, it might be because they don’t feel that they can trust their spouse. It’s sad, but true. So, what can you do to change that? You can do small things to rebuild your wife’s trust in you and your relationship. Ask her if she would like help doing something. If she’s not used to having assistance, she might reject help a few times, but keep asking. Handle something without her asking. Nothing feels better than dragging myself into the kitchen to do the dishes and clean the stove, and finding that my husband has already taken care of it for me. TV depicts married men as lazy slobs who never want to do anything to help their wives. This just isn’t true for everyone. Don’t let your wife dictate your life. Become her partner again, and start making decisions together.
When Your Husband Is A Dictator
If your husband is dictating your life, you might need to practice a little patience with him, in order to get to the root of the issue. Men who want to be in control either are used to it, because they are the boss of others at work, or the total opposite. Sometimes men want to be in control at home, because they feel like they don’t have control over anything outside of their home. If this is the case, you can help by loving on him. Show him that he is loved and appreciated at home, and help him to relax and trust that he’s safe at home. I’m not saying to serve him and disappear. Men are just more sensitive than they let on, and they need a little extra TLC when it comes to their ego. Some men were taught that men are the decision makers, and they take that and run with it. It’s okay to remind him that times have changed and that women have taken on a larger role in the household and in relationships. If your husband’s dictating bothers you, have a conversation with him about it. Tell him how you would like to be treated. He might not even notice that he sounds as if he’s barking orders and excluding you from the decision making. Don’t let your husband dictate your life. Stand at his side, and start making decisions together.
What are some other ways that people can deal with a dictating spouse?
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