Good Deeds-Give Yourself A Hand

Last weekend, I had the pleasure of finally seeing Tyler Perry’s Good Deeds. I’d made the mistake of reading the critics’ reviews, before seeing the movie, and watched with a critical eye. Though I could see where some of the critics’ were coming from, I enjoyed myself. Either you’re a fan or you aren’t. Yes, we know the formula, and some of us appreciate it. We watch typical love stories all of the time, so what makes this love story different? There were some things I would have liked to see happen differently, but I’ll just put those things in my movie (that I’ll probably shoot with my camera phone). I did walk away with some food for thought, however.

I can’t help but appreciate someone who can not only handle hearing things about himself that aren’t all positive, but who can internalize the information and decide to make a change. I’ve struggled with this very thing. I think being proud is somewhere in my genes. I often hear the men in my family ask someone how to do something, and once they’re given the answer, they’re response is “I knew that” or “yea, that’s what I thought”. It’s difficult for people to change, and most just don’t have a desire to change. When we seek self-awareness, we are accepting of transformation. I have always had the desire to be the best me that I could possibly be, but I have not always had the guts to actually do something about it.

I remember someone telling me that when a person doesn’t like another person or something about him/her, there is something within that person that he/she doesn’t like about him/herself. This would be the only reason that we just can’t stand someone else. I took that piece of info to heart. There were people in my life, specifically women, that I didn’t like or want to be around, because of their personalities or some annoying habit they had. I would talk about them, or turn my nose up when I heard their names brought up in conversation. I had to wonder, after a talk with a friend, if other people saw me the way I saw those women. I wasn’t sure, but I did know that people can change, and that’s what I wanted to do.

After some deep reflection, I realized there were definitely some things that I didn’t like about myself, and I was being so hard on those other women, because they were constantly displaying those very things. What did I do about it? I changed. If we don’t like something and we have control over it, we can change it right? I did. It didn’t happen over night, of course. It took some time, but I made a conscientious effort to pay attention to the areas that I wanted to change. Several times, I caught myself saying too much, or saying the wrong things, or entertaining nonsense, etc. I didn’t beat myself up over it, because I understood that there were years of habits that I was suddenly attempting to purge. I had to be patient with myself, and try to behave differently the next time. Eventually, it got better. I’m nowhere near perfect, but I’m not the same as before.

Once I had more control over my flaws and behaviors, I noticed that I had way more patience for those other women that made me roll my eyes at their flaws and behaviors before. I was then able to see the beautiful people they were, and I enjoyed their company a lot more. It was like I learned more about them, just by working on myself. Sometimes, good deeds aren’t what you do for others. They can be the ways in which you help yourself.

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